Session 6: Staying True to yourself and your Values
Wednesday, September 16, 2020
During the COVID-19 pandemic, schools throughout Uganda have been closed indefinitely. Students are stuck at home, many with no resources at all to stay connected or continue learning. Community Radio is one of the most effective ways of reaching people in rural areas of developing countries. African Girls Can recommended a six-part program to the local radio station, Q-FM, 94.3 in Lira, which was immediately interested in content to provide hope and encouragement to youth, especially girls.
This is the script for the sixth and final program in the series. It was broadcast (and streamed on the internet) in the local language, Luo, and lasted one hour. The last 10 minutes were reserved for callers questions and comments.
Moderator (M)
African Girls Can (AGC)
M: Welcome everyone! Welcome back to Madame Jennifer Nyakober, a math teacher and head of the Career and Counseling Department at St. Katherine School. Jennifer represents the organization African Girls Can. She has brought with her tonight two more students who are supported by African Girls Can and who have come all the way from Otuke. Amera Winnie is an O-Level student in Form 4 and Alum Ketty is in Form 3.
Madame Jennifer has been on this radio station quite often in the last two months and we have replayed all of those programs. We hope you heard our other five programs on Life Challenges and Resiliency, Advocating for Yourself, Building your Self-Esteem, Positive Role Models, and Self-Motivation and Having a Growth Mindset. This will be the last program in the series and it is about Values.
First, please tell us one more time what African Girls Can does.
AGC: African Girls Can was founded in 2016 to promote girls’ education and empowerment. We provide partial scholarships for girls in the Lira area to attend secondary school. These are girls who without this support would have no other opportunity to continue their education. We form a community with these girls and provide activities to help them build their confidence and succeed at school.
M: Thank you. Let’s get started with tonight’s program. Today we are going to talk about your own values and staying true to the things that you believe. To begin, what do you mean by a value?
AGC: A value is defined as “a person’s principles or standards of behavior, or one’s judgement of what is important in life.”
Do you think every person in the world believes in and values the exact same things?
Of course they don’t. People all over the world have different beliefs, and what they think is important can vary a lot. For example, there are different religions in the world and the beliefs that people follow under each of these religions are different, but that doesn’t make one right or wrong.
We are going to explore this concept further so that you can think about your own beliefs and what makes you, YOU.
Have you ever felt judged by others?
Maybe you were following your passion for netball, but were told you weren’t good enough or people looked down on you because you cared about getting high marks in school.
How did it make you feel when people judged you?
Did it make you question your abilities?
Were you able to ignore what others thought and stick to what was important to you?
If their judgements made you change, how do you feel about that now?
If you were able to stay true to yourself, how did you do that?
At some point in life, if it hasn’t already happened, you are gong to be judged for who you are, what you do, or what you believe. It is a fact of life.
M: Ok, now that we know what a value is, how does a person get started in staying true to them?
AGC: It is knowing how to be prepared when you feel judged by others that is important. We will go over some strategies on how to stick to your principles today.
First, think about what your values are, what makes you unique, and your hopes and dreams.
Then, think about the different challenges (or possibly even temptations) that can keep you from staying true to yourself.
People – that is peers, your family, or even strangers – can distract you or discourage you from following your principles or dreams.
Often times, it is you, yourself, that can be the biggest thing standing in your way. If you don’t have confidence, for example, your lack of self-esteem can cause you to make certain choices or engage in behaviors that are unsafe or not beneficial to your wellbeing.
M: Let’s talk about how to be yourself. How can someone not bend to outside influences?
It’s not always easy to be ourselves. Sometimes, when we’re with other people, we make choices or act in ways that are different from when we’re alone. Here are some ways to prevent that from happening.
- Know your values and stay true to them.
- Make your own choices, don’t just go along with the crowd.
- Respect yourself.
- Think about your goals and act accordingly.
M: How does someone know what his or her values are?
AGC: Your values are your personal inventory of what you consider most important in life. We all have values, but unless we take time to think about those values, we can easily overlook them when we’re making important choices. Here are some guidelines for identifying what you value. Ask yourself:
- Is this something that’s important to you?
- Do you feel good about this being important to you?
- Would you feel good if people you respect knew that this was important to you?
- Have you ever done anything that indicates that this is important to you?
- Is this something that you would stand by even if others made fun of you for it?
- Does this fit with your vision of who you are?
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we have to make a choice between two values that are in conflict with one another. At times like this, we must be ready to distinguish between these two values.
M: Do you have some examples you can share with us?
AGC: Yes, think about what you would do in these situations:
- You are doing poorly in math class and your parents are putting pressure on you to bring your marks up. The day before the final exam, a classmate steals a copy of the exam and invites you to study it with her. You’ve never been a cheater.
- A friend swears you to secrecy and then tells you that he stole a woman’s bag in the market. You’ve always believed in keeping a secret.
M: What are some of the values that African Girls Can has as an organization?
AGC: Some of the values we hold high within our community at African Girls Can are kindness, friendship, loyalty, and empathy. Our girls try to set a good example in this way to other girls at school.
The American writer Henry James said: There are three things that are important in life. The first is to be kind, the second is to be kind and the third is to be kind. We believe in the “Golden Rule,” which says “treat others as you would like to be treated.”
To have a friend, be one. Support and love one another, so everyone can feel appreciated and have the confidence to be her best and achieve her potential.
Be empathetic. This means, think about what it is like to stand in another person’s shoes. We never really know what another person is coping with each day, especially during times like this with the pandemic. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
Before saying something about someone else, or passing along a rumor, stop and think about the quote from the ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates, and say to yourself: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? There is also a very old saying which goes “If you don’t have something nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.”
African Girls Can is trying to do our part to make the world a kinder, more empathetic place.
M: Do you have any last suggestions for our audience listening today?
AGC: Yes, to finish up our discussion on values, please write down these questions for discussion with your family and friends.
- Where do you get your values?
- What is one example of a value that your family feels is very important?
- Which of your values come from your cultural beliefs from growing up in the area of Lira, Uganda?
- Can you think of a value that someone else has that you do not share or approve of? What is it?
M: Thank you everyone for listening to African Girls Can on the radio, thinking about your own values, and how to stay true to them!
Please, everyone, stay strong, stay well, stay hopeful!
With gratitude to Girls Livelihood and Mentorship Initiative and its Binti Shupavu program for assistance with this content. Binti Shupavu is a four-year life skills course for lower secondary school girls covering topics such as study skills, personal leadership, health and self-confidence with the goal of increasing graduation rates for vulnerable girls.
